Archives for October 2005

No, seriously. This could possibly topple the internet with its mediocrity. Blogs are too hard. Maintaining and writing and coming up with witty things to say. I have nothing exciting to discuss. I mean, things do happen in my life from day to day, but nothing worth noting. Well, maybe that’s not entirely true. No, wait, it is.

Well, now wait a second. This is not fair to all the people in my life who make it exciting. Like this past weekend was Halloween and I saw a great show by “Anything for Loaf” (a Meat Loaf cover band). That was a lot of fun. I had no idea that Meat Loaf had such a following. Maybe it was the holiday spirit or maybe it was the drink specials, the show was good. Plus, the girl in the group is really cute, so that helped.

So maybe exciting things do happen in my life, and I just don’t pay attention. I’ll write more people, I promise.

I am, as I’m sure many people are, at a crossroads in my life. Ok, crossroads is a bit extreme, but I am at a point in my life where I’m trying to balance my professional career with my dream career. Professionally speaking, I am an advertising copywriter. And I’m getting better at it, and it is a job I like, and I don’t wake up with dread every morning, as has happened with previous careers.

That said, I have had dreams of becoming a filmmaker since I was 15. Anyone who knows me knows that I love movies–making them, watching them, talking about them, whatever. But it’s a dream. It’s literally a dream. It’s like any other creative endeavor–very few make a living at it, and very many try.

So where do you draw the line in the sand that says I’m putting this dream away forever, or I’m chucking it all and going for broke? I don’t know the answer, I’m asking you. Can dreams be fully suppressed? Are dreams unpursued considered grounds for an unfulfilled life? Stay tuned true believers. The quest continues.

I feel that it is important for me to write each day. I don’t know if there are many things I want to say, but I’m going to put forth an effort anyway.

So I saw Michael Showalter’s “The Baxter” last night. I enjoyed it. It was interesting. It made me laugh at parts. And yet there’s something about his humor that I feel that I’m not getting, and therefore I’m stupid. And I can’t tell if this elitism is something that Mr. Showalter has placed in his film, or that I am putting on myself. Odds are it’s just me, but there’s a sinking feeling in my gut that maybe when my back is turned, he laughs at my intelligence.

Paul Rudd too, although not as much. But I hear you laughing Rudd, and I don’t like it.

There’s your 21st birthday, where you’re all excited about the prospect of drinking and being a grown-up. Then there’s 25 where you’re middle-midle-aged, and you can finally rent a car. And then there’s 30, where frankly, you’re old. The immaturity of youth seems laughable, and the prospect of investing in real estate makes more sense than watching “Harold and Kumar”.

But what about the shitty ages? Like 22. 22 is terrible. You’re not really old enough to know anything, and the newness of 21 has worn off, so what are you? And 24? What the hell is the point of being 24? You’re working a lot, you barely have enough money to pay your bills, and you’re slowly coming to grips with the fact that maybe you should spend a little less time drinking and more time working.

And then there’s the grand-daddy of all shitty ages. 29. The purgatory of age. You’re not 30. But you’re pretty much out of your immature 20’s. So where are you? Some of my friends are frantically racing to achieve the goals they had set for 30. Others are checking off all of the stupid things they missed out on in their teens and early 20’s. And then there’s me, who keeps stomping on the flaming bag of dog poop that 30 keeps leaving on my doorstep to remind me that he’s nearby.

29 is a shitty, shitty age. And where is my movie? Where is my, “that’s exactly what I’m going through” Cameron Crowe/Jon Favreau bullshit cinema? I imagine my life will be like Harry and Sally when I’m 32, and it was kind of like the cast of Singles at 25, but where is the defining film that sums up all of my hopes and fears of capping off my 20’s?

Just something to think about. Now I’m going to go get drunk.